You’ve talked about how you didn’t want to let yourself off the hook as a producer and you encouraged the writers to include moments that maybe weren’t as flattering to you. So I think that when you’re just trying to figure out who you are in the world, so much of that starts to come from reflections of what you see and hear from other people in a way that’s different from how we’re shaped by our family. But at this same time, in hindsight, you realize just how fucking young you are, how little you know. That sort of fabric of life that we get with age. You have no idea about, I think, so many different things. And then you come into the world, you have no idea about consequences. There’s this very strange pod of time in your early 20s where there’s sort of this age you’re looking to get to, and you think, Ah, now I’m going to be an adult, and once I’m an adult, I’m going to this and I’m going to that. Beanie spoke really eloquently last night about, and so true, what your early 20s are like. Everyone has had heartbreak most people have been betrayed in some way or some point. And I think that that has so much to do with how Beanie sort of created this space for the audience in a way of really finding the humanity in my story.Īnd by focusing on those things, I think really trying to bring the emotional truth with those aspects. I think one thing that was really interesting, and I was curious to hear from Beanie because the thing that I’ve heard a lot from people is how they’ve been surprised, even though they obviously didn’t have the same experiences that I had, that they’ve been surprised to find themselves in Monica’s experience. I think most people who know me well would be like, I’m already enough, too much. Elsewhere on the episode, Julie Miller and Richard Lawson join me for a discussion of the finale-and why it feels right to leave all of these women in the late ’90s rather than flashing forward to their futures. On this week’s episode of the Still Watching podcast, Lewinsky speaks about her role in Impeachment as a producer, how specific moments of the finale reflect her real experience (“I really, really hope nobody finishes the episode and thinks that this was a happy ending”), and what she’ll be doing now that such a definitive version of her story has been told (a hint: it might involve spies and/or outer space). “For over a year I had run every time there were cameras in my face,” she says, though at the book signing, she voluntarily put herself out in public. In reality the signing was in London, but Lewinsky says the moment was very similar in real life. Having published her biography, Monica’s Story, written by Andrew Morton with her cooperation, she’s signing books at a New York City bookstore and feeling overwhelmed by the crowd, telling herself, “I’ll be okay” before the episode cuts to black. It’s interesting to speak to the real Lewinsky-an anti-bullying advocate, speaker, and writer for this very magazine-moments after watching the final episode of Impeachment, which leaves a much younger version of Lewinsky in a very vulnerable moment. “It was so lovely to all be together and to have this moment of discussing the show and the process and the experiences in a warm environment like that.” “I’m relieved,” she says over Zoom the morning after hosting an onstage interview with series creator Sarah Burgess and stars Sarah Paulson (who plays Linda Tripp), Annaleigh Ashford (who plays Paula Jones), and Beanie Feldstein (who plays Lewinsky herself). Monica Lewinsky does not have trouble finding the words to describe how she feels at the end of Impeachment: American Crime Story.
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